If Only They Knew
by Tokyo Misaki
Summary: Sheena is a loner at a typical high school. Nothing goes her way. Hey best friend died, her grandfather shuns her, everything seems hopeless. Until a strange boy arrives.
1. Chapter 1

_**If Only They Knew**_

**Prologue **

_Thump _

I jumped. I saw Mr. Sayuke standing in front of my desk, ruler in hand. I smiled sheepishly, brushed my bangs back, and sat up straight. He frowned.

"Now that Ms. Fujibayashi is with us, let us continue with our lesson." I looked all around the classroom, and all the girls with dyed platinum-blonde hair were giggling. I glared at them, and they stopped and turned towards the front of the classroom.

"...What a freak..." I smiled. The girls all brushed their straight hair behind them and re-applied their make-up. I rolled my eyes. Such material girls.

I tugged on my sweatshirt, rested my head on my desk, and headed back into the sweet bliss they call sleeping.

After class, I gathered my books and stepped out into the hallway. It was filled with tons of different types of people. Jocks, "Material Girls", the "Smarts", and the "Druggies" were all with their little clicks. But then there were loners, outcasts. Me. Us loners don't really have any friends. While we may have one or two, no of us really hang out with a group of friends. Most people are either afraid that we'll kill them, or they are just too caught up in their own drama to even consider us outcasts as friends. Plus we are basically the High School's trash. We get average grades, and we don't participate in any after-school activities. But other people aren't necessarily the problem. A lot of us outcasts... we are just too...scared.

**Chapter 1: **

**Life Behind all the Fake Smiles and Material Girls**

The walk home is probably the best part of my day. Except for the fact that I have to _go_ home at the end of the walk. I share a house with my grandfather and one of his friend's, Taiga. I didn't use the word 'live' because I am never home. And if I _am_ home, I am not spending my time with them. I am usually in my room, or in the Roido Park under the big oak tree writing in my diary.

The wind brushed my uncombed hair forward, covering my eyes. I brushed it back and stopped walking. I sighed. Today was the day that Grandfather talked to a bunch of smelly old Japanese men about business. I didn't want to go home, not now anyway. I started walking toward the Roido Park. No one came here. To the citizens of Chiba, Japan, this park was an old run down piece of trash. Construction that was never finished, no bathrooms, no water fountains, and no playgrounds. But plenty of beautiful, inspiring trees for me to sit under.

I sat down next to the oldest Oak tree. There were signs of life, maturity, and death on it. Indentations of love, and silly games like Tic-Tack-Toe written on the bark of the tree. Rotten pieces of bark, and dead leaves that hung from the withering tree. One signature of love stood out. It said:

_Z+S_

Forever 

I always wondered what that indentation meant. "Z" and "S" could've been great lovers, full of heartbreak and love, but no one will ever know, and will never feel what they felt. The disappointment of a disapproving family, and a forbidden love will never be uncovered. That was always a little unsettling for me.

I rested my head against the tree, and opened my green book bag. I pulled out my bright yellow diary and a pen. I flipped to the nearest page and started writing.

_-----Life just doesn't make sense. Every human being should live for a purpose. Not to be humiliated every day at some unimportant High School were looks would get you father than brains. Everyone should be loved, and live for the hunger to be loved. Not the disappointing result of hate and sadness. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to when I was 5. When I had tons of friends and didn't know that when I grew up that I would be ignored and laughed about by hundreds of people. That even my own grandfather didn't approve of how I acted, my choice of activities, and even my personality. _

_I mean all things aren't terrible. I do have one friend. His name's Orochi. We were better friends last year, but then that stupid moment happened. I can't believe I actually did what I did. It was raining, and after spilling all my guts to him about stupid nothingness… I can't believe I was so stupid. But I mean, our friendship isn't totally ruined. It's kind of hard to see him with other girls, but it's not like I had feelings for him anyway. I probably go over to his house at least once a week. He's probably the only person that really listens to me and really understands me. But that doesn't mean I love him. Besides, that's want my grandfather wants, and I am in no mood to actually give that to him. _

_Someday I want to get out of here; I want to leave this place. Leave this place where nothing outside of how you look matters. Where love is equally given to people with emotional disabilities and people with beautiful face. _

_I wonder if such a place really exists………_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

**Disappointment and Smelly Cheese heads**

I glanced at my watch. 6:36. I had been in the park for 3 hours. Even thought it seems like a long time, time flies when you are having fun. I zipped up my light purple hoodie and slipped my hands in the pockets. It had gotten colder. My hands were tired and worn from writing, and my feet tired for walking from school to the park to my house. I didn't see any light on at Orochi's house.

"Damnit…" It was Thursday, my regular talking day with him, but he wasn't home. I stopped when I reached my house. I saw four cars parked in front of it. I didn't know what my grandfather did, but I really didn't want to have any part in it. I quickly walked up to the side door, found my key and unlocked the door. My grandfather was in the dining room, and I was in the kitchen. I slowly crept by and made it to the stairs.

"Hey Sheena!" I jumped and shrieked. I looked over my shoulder and saw Orochi, leaning against the wall. I heard footsteps in the other room.

"Orochi!" I whispered quietly. He smiled.

"Is that Sheena?" I heard my grandfather ask. I glared at Orochi, and he nodded.

"Nope, I thought it was, but it was just the cat." He winked at me. I rolled my eyes. I heard the footsteps stop.

"Oh… okay then. Well when she comes home, let me know. I have to have a talk with her." I heard a thump; he must've sat down.

"Sure thing." Orochi smiled at me.

"You're such an idiot." I started going up the stairs, he followed.

"What? Aren't I allowed to say hi to my bud?" I glared at him. "Ok, ok… Next time I won't yell out loud." I smiled, "I'll just tackle you instead!" I turned around and hit his shoulder. "Fine."

After all of my grandfather's business associates left (including Orochi), I went downstairs. My grandfather was still downstairs reading a couple pieces of paper. I leaned against the wall. He looked up, and pointed to the seat next to him, so I took a seat.

"Hello Sheena." I smiled. "Hmmm… not even a good hello?" I sighed.

"Hi grandfather." He smiled. His teeth were old and yellow, the effect of smoking over the years. His eyes were a pale gray, and he had wrinkles under his eyes and beside his nose.

"Listen," He started to stack dirty plates on top of each other, making more space. I breathed. It smelled like cheese. For some reason, every old man that came into my grandfather's house smelled like cheese. Maybe they just ate cheese a lot, or lived in a house of cheese. I don't know what they do, but they do smell like cheese… and not good cheese either. "I know that you don't have many friends at school, but you should get involved. The Fujibayashi family is known for their involvement in the community. I mean, I give to the Church, and Orochi participates in volunteer work. So I believe that you should too. I love you so much, and you just seem like you don't try hard. To be honest, I'm disappointed."

'_Is he serious? Probably is, about the disappointment anyway, but I won't do volunteer work.' _I thought to myself. I am the most unwilling person there is when it comes to volunteering. Doing things for other people. Because frankly, no one cares shit about me. So why should I care about them? His smile was sheepish like, and fake of all things. It seemed like he never showed who he really was, his past, his mysteries…his heartbreaks. Grandfather was like a diary. He has so many secrets and mysteries, but you can't open him without a key. And I don't have one.

It seems that he lost it long ago.

As I made my way up to my room, I noticed that there were boxes next to … the closet! I ran downstairs into the kitchen, where my grandfather was 'happily' washing dishes.

"Yes Sheena-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU JUST GOING TO THROW HER STUFF OUT?" I glared at him so hard I was starting to get a headache.

"Sheena, you have to-" Grandfather had a stern look upon him.

"NO DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I STILL LOVE CORRINE. YOU MAY NOT, BUT I DO AND I ALWAYS WILL! SO DON'T TELL ME TO MOVE ON." I panted, being exhausted from yelling. He sighed and placed the dishes in the sink.

"Sheena it's been four years… we have to make space for other things." Tears started forming in my eyes.

"Well you want me to throw out grandma's stuff? HUH? It's the same thing!" I suddenly saw a sense of vulnerability. I almost wanted to say sorry. He fixed his expression and sighed.

"The garbage truck is coming tomorrow. And Corrine's stuff is going with it." He said plainly. Does he not have any feeling?

"What the hell is wrong with you old man? CAN'T YOU FEEL ANYTHING? Remorse, guilt, pleasure, sadness, ANYTHING? JUST DIE ALREADY!" I ran off to my room, feeling instant guilt, but then I just reminded myself that he couldn't feel anything so why should I?

I heard the faucet turn on again, and I began to cry. After 10 minutes, I left my room and went into the hallway. I started carrying all of Corrine's things into my room. There were 7 boxes in total. Everything she ever had fit into a measly 7 boxes.

I scanned the room, wondering where to put everything. Then I recalled the trap door under my bed. I shoved my old metal bed across the room, revealing a small trap door. I smiled, a place just for Corrine.

I pulled on the brass handle and heaved. Beneath it was a ladder and about 10 sq. feet of storage. Corrine's things would fit perfectly.

I made sure I didn't hear anyone on the stairs, I don't think anyone knew about this space except for me and Orochi. We found it in the 4 grade, and always went down into it to imagine what happened there 200 years ago.

I stopped daydreaming, and started loading Corrine's things into the space. I sighed, and pushed back my tears. There were so many memories of Corrine. The first day that she came into our house, then that horrible day….

_The rain had stopped falling, leaving in view, a young girl lying on the front steps of a house. Her long blonde hair was covering her face, but Sheena knew who it was. Corrine had been missing for three days straight. No one knew where she was. Sheena kneeled, stooping to look closer at her deseased best friend. There were bruises on her body. Marks around her neck. Sheena lifter her arm, and held her hand in her own. She sat there crying._

**That was fours years ago, no one ever found out who had murdered Corrine.**


End file.
